Absolute Gains vs. Relative Gains [Yoo, Week 3, Dialogue]

In class, the thing I found most interesting was that neo-liberals stress absolute gains, while neo-realistics stress relative gains. I'm not really sure how to interpret these different types of "gains". Does absolute gains signify a gain - whether economic, territorial, etc. - that it makes regardless of how the another state is doing? Do states not care about where they stand in the world, as long as they are improving their own society? Meanwhile, does relative gains signify a state concerned with maintaining power in relation to other states? Which attempts to be more powerful, more economically stable, etc? If my jist is correct (and I may be absolutely wrong), I find the neo-liberal argument of absolute gains very unrealistic (That sounds ridiculous). I can't help but feel that countries are in competition to become more influential and/or powerful. If you become a world power, somebody has to lose, right? Just look at how our world politics are structured. The "8 largest economies" of the world meet in the G8 Summit (because apparently the G8 economies are the most important, even though they don't include China or India), and the UN Security Council hold powers which other members do. So which type of "gain" is more revelent in today's society?